Sunday 27 July 2008

Marriage and Divorce - falling in and out of love

Following on my my post on Rejection , I have been giving this subject a lot more thought.

  • What does it mean?
  • How and when does unconditional love start?
  • How can it be repaired when it gets interrupted?
  • How and when to call it a day?

This is a really complex subject and I can earnestly see why some people fall in love and want that special person in their life, to share joy and sadness with, to experience grief and loss, to grow old with. I also struggle with how this is sustainable over a lifetime, is it genuinely possible to love someone this intensely forever?

Update: I guess what I am thinking about is the tragedy of a broken relationship, which resulted in Marriage and ends in Divorce, perhaps its indicative of what has become known as our "throw away" society...


Patty Newbold said...

I have given this subject a lot of thought, too. I married a wonderful man, but after 13 years, I had so many unmet needs that I desperately wanted out of our marriage.

I found myself out of it a lot faster than I ever expected. He died very unexpectedly less than a day after I told him I wanted out. When I woke up the next morning, I had even more unmet needs, and so did our young son.

And in that moment, I understood how to make it last and where I had gone wrong. I knew with certainty we had not yet passed the point of no return and how to tell if I ever did.

I'm happily married to a man I fell in love with eleven years later. It's not hard to stay there at all, once you get it. You can read what I learned on my blog at

It's a terrible, terrible loss when a marriage falls apart and so very often a completely unnecessary loss. My heart goes out to your friend.